Listening to Children
One comment we have heard quite a few times from parents is that their ADHD child/ young person accuse them...'You Never Listen to Me' …in fact, parents are worn out with 'Listening'!
Sadly, children don't understand that their parents struggle to 'Listen' to the constant chat and perhaps parents need a different approach....
- If someone is nagging about wanting to do something - If you can say yes, do so, rather than be nagged more, but if you have to say no because it would be unsafe and not what you would allow you have to be firm and not give in to the nagging and appealing that goes on – of course, no-one said that it's an easy approach!
- • Younger Children - Try to answer their questions with a simple answer, rather than listening to them going on. If possible, set aside some time when questions and chat can be answered without having to cook a meal, drive or do something else which means a reply might cause difficulties. Try to find time for reading to your child in the evenings - It can give youngsters a chance to learn to listen and talk.
- Older Children / Teens - You may still find they accuse you of not listening to what they have to say - on other occasions you have a job to get a word out of them! The teen years can be a very trying time, add ADHD to that and it's even harder! Teens can behave like an adult one minute and like a toddler the next.
Make it clear you want to help and be involved, respect their views even if they are different to yours. Teenage years are a time of testing out opinions and people, including parents.
Let your child know you are there to support them.
Respect your child's privacy; older children need their own space, time to themselves and the right not to communicate about everything in their lives, especially personal relationships.
- If as a parent you feel that there is something wrong – don’t leave it – Perhaps you feel that your child may not be telling you what is happening. We all know how children can be bullied, not just at school. For older children they can be strongly affected by social media.
At HACSG we are always interested in any ideas you have found helpful - we can then share with other parents.